Y’all didn’t think you were gonna see me? I’m the Osiris of this shit! I know I’m late and that 2013 was entire MONTHS ago. Real life shit got in the way, but now I’m here to for the 14th edition of my Billboard review. I started this when I was fifteen, and I’m sure as shit not stopping now.
After murmurings in 2012 in the form of “Call Me Maybe” and “Gangnam Style,” the memeification of the Billboard charts took full effect in 2013. In February, the Billboard Hot 100 changed its methodology to include Youtube views. In theory, this development makes a lot of sense. Tons of young listeners (the only people this particular chart cares about) use Youtube as a primary source of music. But introducing Youtube submits the Hot 100 to the mercurial whims of the Internet, leading to some chart randomness and some truly left field songs to climb the charts. Kanye West’s biggest chart hit of the year wasn’t “Bound 2” or “New Slaves,” but his classic “Gone,” reaching number 18 on the back of a viral video. “Harlem Shake” topped the charts for five weeks just because some weirdo decided to film himself dancing to the song in a Daft Punk helmet. Smarter people than I have noted that the new Billboard methodologies marginalize minority audience and the results seem to bear that out. All the artists who reached number one in 2013 are white, and many reached number one by appropriating traditionally black genres. It’s a disturbing trend, especially after Hip-Hop and R&B dominated the 2000s.
Though the skin tone of the charting artists was monochromatic, the hits were somewhat varied. 2013 saw traditional pop ballads, R&B pastiche, trap music, novelty rap and whatever the fuck “Royals” is, reach the top of the charts. There were no classics like “Call Me Maybe,” but how good was last year’s crop of number ones? Let’s find out.
The Hits:
“Locked Out of Heaven” – Bruno Mars: 12/22/2012-1/26/2013 (6 Weeks)
I already covered this song in last year’s roundup. Here’s the short version: This song sounds like The Police, but is not as good as the Police.
6/10
“Thrift Shop” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Wanz: 2/2-2/23, 4/6-4/13 (6 Weeks)
Let me be clear. It’s hard for me to be rational when talking about this song. Macklemore, the rap game Martin Prince, deigns to give us fashion advice when he has the worst hair in music since well...Vanilla Ice. He manages to stay on the beat, but his grating frayed vocal, coupled with Ryan Lewis’s Playmobil® “My First Rap Beat,” induces migraines, even before you register his lyrics. I don’t endorse the opinion that “Thrift Shop” is tone-deaf or classist, but I do think that every bar drips with a palpable condescension. “I’m not like those other rappers, with their luxury brands and expensive cars,” he says. Well, Macklemore, spending less cash does not make your message any less materialistic than “Versace.” The only way Macklemore is different from all the other rappers is that those rappers occasionally have something interesting to say. Oh right, and he’s white, hence he’s a Grammy winner. I’ll give a point to Wanz, though. He seems like a cool guy.
1/10
“Harlem Shake” – Baauer: 3/2-3/30 (5 weeks).
If you type “Harlem Shake” into Youtube, you get 4.8 million results. You have to scroll down to the bottom of the page to get a full version of the audio. The song is inextricably tied to the meme, which jumped the shark sometime between the song reaching the top of the charts and Chris Bosh doing his version of the Bluth Chicken Dance, but it stands pretty well on its own. The meme came about because the drop is fucking huge, with the air raid synths giving way to the massive bass line. “Harlem Shake” is such an odd collection of sounds, with handclaps, keyboards ripped from “Goodie Bag,” a high-pitched Spanish hook and even a roaring lion. If every generation gets the “Macarena” it deserves, then we are waaaaay better than people from the 90s.
8/10
“When I Was Your Man” – Bruno Mars: 4/20 (1 Week)
Bruno Mars is a talented songwriter, but his genre experiments never feel like more than pastiche. In “When I Was Your Man,” he tries a piano ballad in the vein of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” or “Vienna,” to express his melodramatic regret about driving his woman away. To be fair to Mr. Mars, he nails the tone on this one, with a song structure that is familiar, but not too predictable, but I have never bought this type of song. The problem lies in the lyrics, which strive to be earnest, but end up cheesy and fail to support the impassioned vocal. We need a name for people who are objectively talented, but whose overall competence comes at the expense of their personality. Bruno Mars is one of those. Ooh, let's call them John Stocktons.
6/10
“Just Give Me a Reason” – Pink ft. Nate Ruess: 4/27-5/11 (3 Weeks)
For the first half of her career, Pink had an attitude. She was marketed as the punky alternative to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, taking potshots at them in her lyrics. Now, Pink is the person they call when Katy Perry passes on a track. “Just Give Me A Reason,” sounds like an outtake from last year’s fun. album, which I strongly dislike. Like “We Are Young,” the verses are far too busy, with chord changes that are too complicated for the melody, and Nate Ruess’s fifth rate Freddie Mercury impression is as grating as ever. The saving graces: the melody on the chorus is great, and the transition to the bridge is seamless, not too mention Pink’s powerful performance. But how am I supposed to buy these two as an evenly matched couple if I get the strong impression that Pink could beat Ruess in arm wrestling with just one pinky?
5/10
“Can’t Hold Us” – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis: 5/18-6/15 (5 Weeks)
I don’t hate “Can’t Hold Us.” It’s a pump up song, meant to be played at NBA arenas or commercials for sports drinks, and it seems to succeed. There is a neat horn section in the middle that sounds like “Make It Rain.” The problem again is Macklemore, who isn’t as unbearably condescending as he is on other tracks, but his verses are empty space. Macklemore essentially plays a Flo Rida role, filling the space between the hooks. Not one hot line. The closest he gets to dropping a hot line is a hamfisted reference to everybody’s favorite Price is Right game. Ray Dalton seems nice, though.
3/10
“Blurred Lines” – Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell & T.I.: 6/22-9/7 (12 Weeks)
Do you want to know the easiest way to get to number one on the Billboard charts in the Youtube era? Hire some naked models to appear in your video. It doesn’t hurt that “Blurred Lines” is a pretty good song on its own right, with a creamy bass line, evoking the lighthearted that regularly topped the charts in the mid-70s. Yes, it’s hard to look past the lyrics, which when combined with the video are at best icky and at worst predatory. I think “Blurred Lines,” is a come on, not a demand, and “I know you want it” is hardly an original sentiment in R&B music. Thicke is creepy, but the song is fun, and T.I.’s rap echoes his great “My Love” verse. “Blurred Lines” is a good song that neither I, nor anybody else, ever needs to hear again. It’s gonna kill at 2010s party’s in 20 years, though.
7/10
“Roar” – Katy Perry: 9/14-9/21 (2 Weeks)
“Roar,” Katy’s eighth number one single and potential answer to what the fox says, has a great chorus, but otherwise feels a bit underwritten. Where’s the bridge? There’s a pause where the bridge should be, but then nothing. I feel cheated. “Roar” is incomplete, and feels derivative of other, better songs, even in the chorus (the tired reference to “Eye of the Tiger”; the notable similarity to Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”), and it seemed to reach number one by default. It’s the sign of a huge pop star that even the minor singles dominate the radio.
4/10
“Wrecking Ball” – Miley Cyrus: 9/28-10/5; 12/14 (3 Weeks)
Like for “Blurred Lines,” I can’t go any further without talking about the video. One would not expect the video for a song called “Wrecking Ball” to be subtle, but come on. There she is, tongue-bathing a sledgehammer, unconvincingly crying during her Sinead O’Connor close up and obviously riding a goddamn wrecking ball through a plastic wall. The song itself is about as subtle as the video. It has a great vocal melody on the verse, and on the first half of the chorus, but those “WREEEECCKK ME!” bleats during what should be the resolution and emotional climax irritate more than they titillate. At least somebody remembered to write a bridge (AHEM KATY PERRY!).
5/10
“Royals” – Lorde: 10/12-12/7 (9 Weeks)
“Royals” eventually reached “Rolling in the Deep” levels of radio popularity, but before it was played to death it was one of the best singles of the year. Lorde and producer/co-writer Joel Little crafted a unique hit out of a minimalist drumbeat, synth bass, and those finger-snaps. The sparse arrangement highlights Lorde’s synthetic vocal harmonies, which fill out the space. In fact, the number one hit it most resembles from the past ten years is probably “Drop It Like It’s Hot.” Of course, “Royals” strategically positions herself against the activities championed by that song and many others. Lorde crafted an anthem for those who can’t afford to go to clubs or drive Maybachs, and maybe don’t need those comforts. Instead, she’s “cracked the code,” counting her pennies on the train (public transportation!) dreaming of a day when she’s on top of the pop world writing her own rules. That day might come sooner than we think.
8/10
“The Monster” – Eminem ft. Rihanna: 12/21-12/28
Please don’t make me write anything about “Love the Way You Lie 2: Electric Boogalo.”
2/10
In summation: It was a strange year for number ones, with three legitimate left-field hits dominating the charts. It seems as if the addition of YouTube streams will somewhat democratize the Hot 100, allowing songs without much major label promotion to reach the top of the charts. However, in the future, maybe we should use our newfound power as listeners to boost somebody who is not as shitty as Macklemore.
Best: "Royals"
Worst: "Thrift Shop"
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Uncle Tupelo - Wait Up
Jeff Tweedy - "Wait Up" (outtake from I am Trying to Break Your Heart) Tweedy wrote "Wait Up" for the Uncle Tupelo album March 16-20, 1992, years before his Wilco heyday, but his songwriting talent was already fully formed. "Wait Up" is a touching ballad where the singer promises his lover that he'll stay up all night until she returns. "I miss you," Tweedy says, "more than I need sleep." The arrangement on the song is beautiful. The moment when the fast-paced bluegrass fingerpicking gives way to that beautifully strummed instrumental break is legendary. It's the cathartic moment where the singer is able to overcome the tension of waiting and visualize the moment where he reunites with the one he loves.
Why, then, does the crowd break out into laughter during the song's most emotional moment?
The genius of "Wait Up" is the way it subverts your expectations. The aforementioned instrumental break considerably slows down the song's tempo, bringing the gallop of the verses to near complete stop. We are conditioned, when we hear a tempo and mood change this drastic, to expect the moment to last, to provide a musical counterpoint to the verses. However, this beautiful section only lasts about two measures (about six measures shorter than a bridge in classic pop song structure) before switching back to the sprint of the main song. Comedy is, above all, the subversion of expectations. In "Wait Up," Tweedy subverts expectations that most of the audience in this clip probably did not even realize they had.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Best Hip-Hop Songs of the Half-Year
10. "N The Traffic" - Droop-E ft. J-Stalin & Nite Jewel (prod. Droop-E)
Despite its title, "N the Traffic" is too propulsive to properly enjoy in a stopped car. The deep bass and twinkling vibes, combined with Nite Jewel's typically ethereal vocal makes "N The Traffic" an ideal choice when driving (slowly) down an empty highway at midnight. The beat's so good that Droop and J-Stalin only need to make sure they don't embarrass themselves. They nearly succeed. J-Stalin's line, "I think her name was Malaysia, I met her in Malaysia," approaches the willful stupidity Rick Ross's famous "Atlantic" rhyme. Droop-E is a lot better though; his voice recalls Raekwon, though his laid back flow evokes the Curren$ys and Smoke DZAs of the rap world. The night driving anthem of 2013, so far.
9. "Karate Chop" - Future ft. Casino (prod. Metro Boomin)
Forget the remix, featuring a Lil Wayne verse that's tasteless even without the horrible Emmett Till punchline. The original "Karate Chop" features the one thing anybody really needs in a 2013 rap song: FUTURE. FREE BANDZ!
...
Oh I guess I should write a little more. Metro Boomin provides one of the finest backing tracks of the year, an 8-bit masterpiece that would kick just as much ass if it soundtracked a Sonic the Hedgehog boss battle. Instead of trying to outdo the beat, Future dances around its peaks, filling the empty space with his unforgettable cadence ("just-a bunch-a nar-cotics"). Casino is here too, I guess, adding a doofy charm that jibes with the arcade beat.
8. "Collard Greens" - Schoolboy Q ft. Kendrick Lamar (prod. by THC)
I heard "Collard Greens" for the first time last week, and it's highly likely that this will rank higher if I ever get around to making a year-end singles list. Q and Kendrick tend to bring the best out in each other ("Blessed," "Birds and the Beez"), not because they actively try to top each other, but because they each attack the same beat and subject matter from totally different angles. After taking on haters on "The Spiteful Chant," and counting themselves lucky to be alive on "Blessed," "Collard Greens" finds K. Dot and Q letting loose. Kendrick, in particular is a mad dog on this track, tearing through THC's bass and handclaps driven beat with a feverish intensity, rapping bars in Spanish and allowing himself to brag like he hasn't since "Backseat Freestyle." Q doesn't quite bring Kendrick's fire, but he's the host of the party, gracious enough to let Kendrick burn his house down, but not before he douses it with gas (Q's best line: "freak the freckles off your face").
7. "Long Live A$AP" - A$AP Rocky (prod. by Jim Jonsin)
If you asked me which producer was responsible for "Long Live A$AP" backing track when I first heard it, I probably would have listed dozens of names before I landed on Jim Jonsin. Jonsin is best known for his candy-colored pop-rap megahits, "Whatever You Like" and "Lollipop." Both tracks are texturally oversaturated, with fat sine waves and square leads, and the same stuttering snare. On "Long Live A$AP," that snare drum is still around, but the minimalist beat leaves liberal amounts of negative space. The backing track blends seamlessly with the Clams Casino and T-Minus tracks that make up the rest of A$AP Rocky's impressive debut. The shit is hypnotic and more than a little spooky, with chopped, pitched up vocals on the verses and an airy falsetto proclaiming Rocky's mortality on the chorus. Rocky's lyrics are usually no more than placeholders. He's skilled at linking together sounds that rhyme, but not great at imbuing meaning behind his words. However, on this track, his lyrics provide a good introduction to the main theme of his debut ("I thought I'd probably die in prison/expensive taste in women") and his flow weaves itself within the spaces left in the beat.
6. "Atari" - Young L (prod. by Tomas Barfod)
"Atari" is the most infectiously melodic rap song of the year not released by Chance the Rapper. L's verses are enjoyable. His rhymes are boastful, but not arrogant. "Atari," though, is all about the chorus, which sails over the massive kick drums and wavering synth. "When I slide by," L sings, "your girl gon' break her neck." displaying a sense of melody that helps L stand out, even among the Futures and Kevin Gateses of the world.
5. Iamsu! ft. Problem, Juvenile & Kool John - 100 Grand (Remix)
This is my favorite beat of the year. It might not be as versatile as "U.E.O.N.O." or have the 8-bit charm of "Karate Chop," but I could listen to the snapping snares and ratchet synths of "100 Grand" for hours on end. The rapping is pretty great too. Iamsu! and Problem are laid back, dancing over the skittering claps like they own them (which I guess they do) and Juvenile is surprisingly at home among his West Coast colleagues, turning up his energy to "Back That Azz Up" levels. It shouldn't be so surprising, since the ratchet movement owes a lot to the heyday of the Hot Boyz. Apparently the rappers on this track are rapping words, but they could be rattling off their grocery lists and it would sound riveting with this beat and these cadences.
4. Kevin Gates - "IDGAF" (prod. by EQ tha Misfit)
Kevin Gates' Luca Brasi Story explores the emotional toll of growing up in the hood and projecting a tough-guy facade as horrible things happen around you. Instead of merely alluding to his hard life and struggle growing up, Gates fills "IDGAF" with details about his personal experiences. "Everybody round me says I don't give a fuck about nothing," Gates says, but he does. "IDGAF" is full of shout-outs to friends and family, some living and some dead. He sees his little cousin selling drugs and comforts him after he gets jacked. He laments the state of his neighborhood, where overcrowding is forcing people onto the streets. He struggles with a drug habit and the knowledge that a close friend is responsible for his trip to prison. "IDGAF" is like a full song version of the "when my little brother died, I said fuck school" line from "Hard in da Paint"; but while Waka tries to beat his troubles down with brute force, Gates allows himself to wallow in his sorrows, absorbing his surroundings and poetically reporting them to the rest of the world.
3. "U.E.O.N.O" (Remix) - Black Hippy (Prod. Childish Major)
Everybody in the Hip-Hop community seems to agree that "U.E.O.N.O." is one of the best songs of the year, but people differ on which version they prefer. Some people prefer the simplicity of the original. Some like the sparse, atmospheric beat by Childish Major to feature 2 or more Chainz. I like this version, which keeps Future's verse, does away with Rozay's rapey vibe, and finds four of my favorite rappers contributing new verses.
On "The Art of Peer Pressure," Kendrick sings, "really I'm a sober soul, but I'm with the homies right now." It makes sense. Kendrick is less pensive and more vulgar on his tracks with Black Hippy. On this track he raps doubletime about anonymous, unsafe sex. Still, as uncouth as Kendrick is during his verse, he doesn't say anything about putting molly in a girl's drink. That's Q's job, as he throws shade at Ross, cleverly manipulating the original's most controversial line. Jay Rock takes the anchor leg, as is Black Hippy custom, proving for the hundredth time that he needs to make a new record right fucking now.
2. Chance the Rapper - "Cocoa Butter Kisses" ft. Vic Mensa & Twista (prod. by Cam for J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League)
First off, shout out to "Juice," "Pusha Man," "Chain Smoker," "Good Ass Intro," "Acid Rain," and "Everybody's Something." Chance made an excellent fucking album this year. I went back and forth several times about which Acid Rap track I wanted to occupy this spot. Did I want the introspective, laid back "Acid Rain"? Did I want "Pusha Man," the most straightforwardly political song on the album? Or "Chain Smoker," the ecstatic climax?
Ultimately, I chose "Cocoa Butter Kisses" because it, in my eyes, best encompasses the different facets of Chance's personality and because it features the best guest verse of the year. Chance's verse is typically idiosyncratic, starting things off with a terrible "Thor" pun and continuing to describe how his lifestyle has alienated him from his family, while endearing him to his friends ("I put visine in my eyes so my grandma will fucking hug me"). Vic Mensa is a good rapper, and he throws in a few good punchlines, but Twista shows everybody up, with his percussive flow dancing around the jazzy backdrop. Usually, Twista's flow sounds great, but the words have no substance. In "Cocoa Butter Kisses," Twista flashes wit and charm like he has not for years. "When it comes to rapping fast I'm the Higgs Boson," he spits, hilariously, following it up with "I'm the Obi Wan Kenobi of the dope, see" and ends his verse with, "You're never too old for a spanking." Verse of the year.
1. "Bugatti" - Ace Hood ft. Future & Rick Ross
At once an effective boast and a succinct metaphor for overnight success, Future's "I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI" highlights the greatest hook in Hip-Hop since...well, at least since "Duffle Bag Boy." Future, so often in sad robot mode, sounds positively jubilant on this song. The last time he sounded so turnt up was "Same Damn Time," which was one of my five favorite songs of last year. Of course, the power of the chorus stems from Mike Will Made It's monstrous beat, with squealing synths and massive Inception-style horns. Ace Hood and Rick Ross contribute decent verses, with Ace in particular matching the energy of Future's hook. Honestly though, the verses could have solely comprised of Jadakiss's "a-hah!" ad-lib and it would still be a classic because of that chorus.
Oh I guess I should write a little more. Metro Boomin provides one of the finest backing tracks of the year, an 8-bit masterpiece that would kick just as much ass if it soundtracked a Sonic the Hedgehog boss battle. Instead of trying to outdo the beat, Future dances around its peaks, filling the empty space with his unforgettable cadence ("just-a bunch-a nar-cotics"). Casino is here too, I guess, adding a doofy charm that jibes with the arcade beat.
8. "Collard Greens" - Schoolboy Q ft. Kendrick Lamar (prod. by THC)
I heard "Collard Greens" for the first time last week, and it's highly likely that this will rank higher if I ever get around to making a year-end singles list. Q and Kendrick tend to bring the best out in each other ("Blessed," "Birds and the Beez"), not because they actively try to top each other, but because they each attack the same beat and subject matter from totally different angles. After taking on haters on "The Spiteful Chant," and counting themselves lucky to be alive on "Blessed," "Collard Greens" finds K. Dot and Q letting loose. Kendrick, in particular is a mad dog on this track, tearing through THC's bass and handclaps driven beat with a feverish intensity, rapping bars in Spanish and allowing himself to brag like he hasn't since "Backseat Freestyle." Q doesn't quite bring Kendrick's fire, but he's the host of the party, gracious enough to let Kendrick burn his house down, but not before he douses it with gas (Q's best line: "freak the freckles off your face").
7. "Long Live A$AP" - A$AP Rocky (prod. by Jim Jonsin)
If you asked me which producer was responsible for "Long Live A$AP" backing track when I first heard it, I probably would have listed dozens of names before I landed on Jim Jonsin. Jonsin is best known for his candy-colored pop-rap megahits, "Whatever You Like" and "Lollipop." Both tracks are texturally oversaturated, with fat sine waves and square leads, and the same stuttering snare. On "Long Live A$AP," that snare drum is still around, but the minimalist beat leaves liberal amounts of negative space. The backing track blends seamlessly with the Clams Casino and T-Minus tracks that make up the rest of A$AP Rocky's impressive debut. The shit is hypnotic and more than a little spooky, with chopped, pitched up vocals on the verses and an airy falsetto proclaiming Rocky's mortality on the chorus. Rocky's lyrics are usually no more than placeholders. He's skilled at linking together sounds that rhyme, but not great at imbuing meaning behind his words. However, on this track, his lyrics provide a good introduction to the main theme of his debut ("I thought I'd probably die in prison/expensive taste in women") and his flow weaves itself within the spaces left in the beat.
6. "Atari" - Young L (prod. by Tomas Barfod)
"Atari" is the most infectiously melodic rap song of the year not released by Chance the Rapper. L's verses are enjoyable. His rhymes are boastful, but not arrogant. "Atari," though, is all about the chorus, which sails over the massive kick drums and wavering synth. "When I slide by," L sings, "your girl gon' break her neck." displaying a sense of melody that helps L stand out, even among the Futures and Kevin Gateses of the world.
5. Iamsu! ft. Problem, Juvenile & Kool John - 100 Grand (Remix)
This is my favorite beat of the year. It might not be as versatile as "U.E.O.N.O." or have the 8-bit charm of "Karate Chop," but I could listen to the snapping snares and ratchet synths of "100 Grand" for hours on end. The rapping is pretty great too. Iamsu! and Problem are laid back, dancing over the skittering claps like they own them (which I guess they do) and Juvenile is surprisingly at home among his West Coast colleagues, turning up his energy to "Back That Azz Up" levels. It shouldn't be so surprising, since the ratchet movement owes a lot to the heyday of the Hot Boyz. Apparently the rappers on this track are rapping words, but they could be rattling off their grocery lists and it would sound riveting with this beat and these cadences.
4. Kevin Gates - "IDGAF" (prod. by EQ tha Misfit)
Kevin Gates' Luca Brasi Story explores the emotional toll of growing up in the hood and projecting a tough-guy facade as horrible things happen around you. Instead of merely alluding to his hard life and struggle growing up, Gates fills "IDGAF" with details about his personal experiences. "Everybody round me says I don't give a fuck about nothing," Gates says, but he does. "IDGAF" is full of shout-outs to friends and family, some living and some dead. He sees his little cousin selling drugs and comforts him after he gets jacked. He laments the state of his neighborhood, where overcrowding is forcing people onto the streets. He struggles with a drug habit and the knowledge that a close friend is responsible for his trip to prison. "IDGAF" is like a full song version of the "when my little brother died, I said fuck school" line from "Hard in da Paint"; but while Waka tries to beat his troubles down with brute force, Gates allows himself to wallow in his sorrows, absorbing his surroundings and poetically reporting them to the rest of the world.
3. "U.E.O.N.O" (Remix) - Black Hippy (Prod. Childish Major)
Everybody in the Hip-Hop community seems to agree that "U.E.O.N.O." is one of the best songs of the year, but people differ on which version they prefer. Some people prefer the simplicity of the original. Some like the sparse, atmospheric beat by Childish Major to feature 2 or more Chainz. I like this version, which keeps Future's verse, does away with Rozay's rapey vibe, and finds four of my favorite rappers contributing new verses.
On "The Art of Peer Pressure," Kendrick sings, "really I'm a sober soul, but I'm with the homies right now." It makes sense. Kendrick is less pensive and more vulgar on his tracks with Black Hippy. On this track he raps doubletime about anonymous, unsafe sex. Still, as uncouth as Kendrick is during his verse, he doesn't say anything about putting molly in a girl's drink. That's Q's job, as he throws shade at Ross, cleverly manipulating the original's most controversial line. Jay Rock takes the anchor leg, as is Black Hippy custom, proving for the hundredth time that he needs to make a new record right fucking now.
2. Chance the Rapper - "Cocoa Butter Kisses" ft. Vic Mensa & Twista (prod. by Cam for J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League)
First off, shout out to "Juice," "Pusha Man," "Chain Smoker," "Good Ass Intro," "Acid Rain," and "Everybody's Something." Chance made an excellent fucking album this year. I went back and forth several times about which Acid Rap track I wanted to occupy this spot. Did I want the introspective, laid back "Acid Rain"? Did I want "Pusha Man," the most straightforwardly political song on the album? Or "Chain Smoker," the ecstatic climax?
Ultimately, I chose "Cocoa Butter Kisses" because it, in my eyes, best encompasses the different facets of Chance's personality and because it features the best guest verse of the year. Chance's verse is typically idiosyncratic, starting things off with a terrible "Thor" pun and continuing to describe how his lifestyle has alienated him from his family, while endearing him to his friends ("I put visine in my eyes so my grandma will fucking hug me"). Vic Mensa is a good rapper, and he throws in a few good punchlines, but Twista shows everybody up, with his percussive flow dancing around the jazzy backdrop. Usually, Twista's flow sounds great, but the words have no substance. In "Cocoa Butter Kisses," Twista flashes wit and charm like he has not for years. "When it comes to rapping fast I'm the Higgs Boson," he spits, hilariously, following it up with "I'm the Obi Wan Kenobi of the dope, see" and ends his verse with, "You're never too old for a spanking." Verse of the year.
1. "Bugatti" - Ace Hood ft. Future & Rick Ross
At once an effective boast and a succinct metaphor for overnight success, Future's "I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI" highlights the greatest hook in Hip-Hop since...well, at least since "Duffle Bag Boy." Future, so often in sad robot mode, sounds positively jubilant on this song. The last time he sounded so turnt up was "Same Damn Time," which was one of my five favorite songs of last year. Of course, the power of the chorus stems from Mike Will Made It's monstrous beat, with squealing synths and massive Inception-style horns. Ace Hood and Rick Ross contribute decent verses, with Ace in particular matching the energy of Future's hook. Honestly though, the verses could have solely comprised of Jadakiss's "a-hah!" ad-lib and it would still be a classic because of that chorus.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Blood On The Leaves
I guess this is where I talk about Yeezus.
Kanye West is far from the first rapper to sample “Strange Fruit," one of the more haunting and significant songs in American music, but he is by far the most popular. Many of the critics I have read (and I have read dozens of reviews of this album) seem to believe that Kanye should treat the Civil Rights ballad with appropriate reverence, that he should use the sample to make a grand statement about race relations in America. Divorced from context, however, the phrase “black bodies swinging in the summer breeze," can have multiple meanings. Is it distasteful to warp the original meaning of the phrase into a euphemism for sex? Kanye may be oblivious to some things, but he definitely understands the power of “Strange Fruit." In this case, however, his social consciousness gives way to his search for the perfect beat. In “Blood on the Leaves," he might have found it.
Kanye might be the only person in the world who would have thought to combine “Strange Fruit" with TNGHT’s monstrous "R U Ready." The moment at 1:07 when Nina Simone’s piano gives way to TNGHT’s trademark maximalist brass (Chris Ott called them "Inception-horns," which is perfect) is visceral and thrilling. The most mind-blowing single moment in music since…well, I might have to go back to the first time I heard "Maggot Brain." The rest of the track manages to keep up the high, with Kanye’s impassioned autotune matching the beat’s intensity, building to an ecstatic climax as the beat tapers off and the vocals escalate. Even on a a great album full of amazing sounds, the unique cocktail of “Blood on the Leaves" stands out.
I only wish that Kanye would maybe go back and edit his fucking lyrics.
I never pay attention to lyrics for the first several times I listen to a piece of music (unless the music is sparse enough that the lyrics are what stand out). I absorb the rest of the track, pay attention to the drums, the bass, the melody most of all, and the vocals become just another instrument to me. So I spent my first several listens of Yeezus obsessing over the beats, ignoring the words give or take a croissant. I have played Yeezus ten to twenty times since last Friday, and the half-assed lyrics have begun to stand out like a moustache on the Mona Lisa. And I don’t mean classic Kanye’s awkward failed jokes and mispronunciations. Those just add charm, and Yeezus, for all of its strengths, is charmless. I mean lazy and unfinished ideas that he should have fleshed out during the editing process.
"Blood On the Leaves," as many critics have pointed out, could have furthered the grand political themes Kanye expounds upon on “Black Skinheads" and “New Slaves" (the most lyrically focused tracks on the album; also, probably not coincidentally, the songs he performed prior to the album’s 11th hour finish). Or not. It’s his prerogative and he can do whatever he wants with his beat. Kanye chose to talk about relationships; the challenges of being committed to one person while an ex sits across the room, and how that brings back memories of shared intimacies, and you worry that you haven’t shared the same feelings with the person you’re with. You can see the broad strokes; he’s working with complex adult themes here. However, the rushed recording process limits Ye’s ability to express his ideas properly. Instead, Kanye slaps together tired bars about alimony that lack the humor and insight of the last time he rapped about it. On MBDTF, Kanye leveled up lyrically, improving his flow and sharpening his wordplay, with help from his many collaborators and his lengthy recording and editing process. A little bit more time in the studio would have allowed Kanye to focus his thoughts and create a lyrics sheet that could approach the beat tape.
If Kanye spent more time in the studio with these tracks, we likely would have gotten a more polished record, and presumably some of the more questionable lines would have been whittled out. But Yeezus is a record that is more powerful for its frayed edges, and “Blood on the Leaves" is an excellent track despite its lyrical shortcomings. And the beats are fucking dope. I am thrilled with the record Kanye has released, and I will listen to it constantly this Summer, but I can’t help thinking that it could be that much better.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Reviewing the Hits: 2012
Billboard Number Ones – 2012 Edition: The Meme is the Message
Over the past month I’ve read, watched, or listened to dozens of year-end retrospectives. Best of year lists, entries reflecting on a specific artist or trend, podcast debates about the above, and an especially entertaining March-Madness-style bracket pitting the year’s hits against each other in a fight to the death (dontstoppopthat.com). However, I like to reflect upon the past year through the lens of the old-fashioned, borderline-irrelevant, payola-baiting Billboard Hot 100. (Ok, maybe there’s no more payola, but you can’t convince me that Maroon 5’s nine-week reign was not the result of a vast government conspiracy hellbent on keeping one-time Yankee-hater PSY from reaching the top of the charts; or a unified push by American record companies to forestall the incoming K-Pop invasion). The year’s Billboard Number Ones are not comprehensive and always leave out many songs that the define the year (no Frank Ocean, Fiona Apple or 2 Chainz to see here, folks), but it is always to interesting to see which songs captured our hearts and minds throughout the year.
After the EDM-plus-Adele hellscape that was the year 2011, 2012 comes as a breath of fresh air. The EDM is obviously still around, and the movement fuelled some of the year’s biggest hits (Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling”; Nicki Minaj’s “Starships”; every huge David Guetta song), but the songs that reached number one, rising above the untz-untz crowd, are an impressively varied group of songs. 2012’s number ones ranged from bubblegum pop, to faux Arcade Fire bombast, to full-throated diva belters, to blue-eyed reggae. In 2012, not one but TWO songs heavily influenced by Sting spent significant time at the top of the charts. In 2010 and 2011, the number ones reflected the most played songs at the club. The average number one had a high BPM, a 4/4 beat, and the build-ups and drops associated with club music, designed to make people lose their minds on the dancefloor (the exception being, as always, Adele). Last year, Number ones were, for the most part, quieter and slower, less insistent on us dancing like it was our last night on Earth. The most popular songs of the year were often songs more likely to be played at home alone as in a club. Songs like “Somebody That I Used to Know,” “We Are Young” and “Ho Hey,” the current number 5, would never have sniffed the Top 20 in 2010 or 2011. I’m not sure if the charts changed their methodology or if people changed their listening habits (probably the former), but either way, I love any change that might break us out of our early decade doldrums and into a new exciting period for pop music.
The Hits:
“Sexy and I Know It” – LMFAO: 1/7-1/14 (2 Weeks)
Ugh. I’m gonna skip this one for now. I’ll leave you with this brilliant sketch, and I’ll come back to “Sexy and I Know It” after I throw up in my mouth a little bit.
“We Found Love” – Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris: 11/12/11-12/31/11; 1/21/12-1/28 (10 Weeks)
I already wrote about this one for my 2011 recap. I’ll repost it though:
“THIS is how you do a House crossover. People criticize Rihanna’s vocal ability, but it’s hard to argue that she can’t be compelling in the right context. Rihanna is probably the most prepared of the current pop divas to handle the imminent electronic era in pop music, as her voice complements but never overshadows the production. Considering how simple most of Calvin Harris’s discography is, there’s a surprising level of attention to detail in “We Found Love.” There’s a subtle change in the instrumentation during each verse. I also like how they managed to avoid including a dubstep drop (must have been a struggle). It’s hard to imagine a more effective techno/pop fusion"
8/10
“Sexy and I Know It” – LMFAO: 1/7-1/14 (2 Weeks)
Ok, I’m back. I needed some time to emotionally prepare myself to listen to this song on repeat for this piece. “Sexy and I Know It” is a member of a unique pop music lineage, preceded by such classics as “I’m Too Sexy,” by Right Said Fred, and the gloriously awful “Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang. These are one-joke songs. Isn’t it hilarious how these guys who do not fit even the broadest definition of sexiness are talking about how irresistible they are? “Sexy and I Know It,” by nepotism poster boys LMFAO, manages to be even more disgusting and ridiculous than its predecessors and even less funny. The good news for me is: “Sexy and I Know It” was the year’s worst number one, so there isn’t anywhere to go but up. This would be the worst song to chart in 2012 if it weren’t for the unfortunate “Birthday Cake (Remix),” by Rihanna & Chris Brown.
1/10
“Set Fire to the Rain” – Adele: 2/4-2/11 (2 Weeks)
Adele’s monster 2011 extended into 2012 with “Set Fire to the Rain,” a decent number one that can’t hope to match the iconic status already reached by “Rolling in the Deep” and “Somebody Like You.” “Rolling in the Deep” and “Somebody Like You” featured minimalist arrangements with Adele’s voice as the focal point. Her inflection and vocal timbre provides the drama and the emotion, and because Adele is such an expressive singer, the songs benefit from the spotlight on her vocals. In “Set Fire to the Rain,” her vocals are just as strong, but her performance is swallowed by the epic arrangement. Still, like almost everything else on Adele’s 21, “Set Fire to the Rain” is well-written and well-structured, even if it lacks the emotional oomph of her best songs.
6/10
“Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” – Kelly Clarkson: 2/18-2/25, 3/10
Poor Kelly Clarkson. Every song she releases from here on out will draw comparisons to “Since U Been Gone,” one of the best pop songs of the past 25 years, and every song will suffer from that comparison. It’s hard to fault Kelly for returning to that well, but I think it’s fair to say that I’ve had enough of the Kelly Clarkson empowerment anthem for a while. “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” is a perfectly competent, catchy track that I have absolutely no need to ever hear again.
5/10
“Part of Me” – Katy Perry: 3/3 (1 week)
According to Wikipedia, Katy Perry’s Dr. Luke/Max Martin-produced kiss-off “Part of Me” was written sometime in 2010, presumably about her ex-boyfriend Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes (yep, that clown). It was officially released in February 2012, hot on the heels of Perry’s high-profile divorce from crazy person/comedian Russell Brand. So, the song’s lyrics, though they try to be personal and revealing, are vague enough to apply to two totally different (I assume) relationships. Everything about this song screams, “divorce cash-in.” The chorus is not memorable, especially when compared to her 2010 and 2011 smashes, and the instrumental track is typical Katy Perry, with guitars on the verses, synth on the chorus and huge 4/4 drums. “Part of Me” is the most transient and forgettable of 2012’s number ones, so forgettable, in fact, that she did not even perform “Part of Me” in the concert film bearing its name.
4/10
“We Are Young” – fun. featuring Janelle Monae: 3/17-4/21 (6 Weeks)
“We Are Young” is a mixed bag. It’s a song that feels like it could have been a great song, but it fails for a few reasons. Let’s talk about the good first: That chorus. It’s a great fucking chorus, one of the biggest and catchiest in a year full of big catchy choruses, with Nate Ruess’s voice soaring over Graduation-era Kanye synths and plinking piano. The bridge is pretty good, too, and would be better if Janelle Monae’s part was not buried under layers of harmony. I’ve heard people compare fun. to Queen, their chanted harmonies always reminded me more of the Lion King soundtrack, which is good, cause I like The Lion King more than I like Queen.
Now the bad: The first verses is dreadful. The lyrics are so self-important and read like entry-level poetry (“Getting higher than the Empire State”), and the melody uninspired. Worst of all, it does not fit at all with the chorus. More talented people than fun. have created great songs by mashing up two half-written songs, but here it feels like the chorus teleported in from some other, more interesting song.
Overall, the very good chorus and bridge comprise most of the song, but the terrible first verse and the awkward transition between verse and chorus (not to mention the sheer grammatical difficulty of writing about fun. on Microsoft Word) prevent me from giving “We Are Young” anything higher than a 6.
6/10
“Somebody That I Used to Know” – Gotye ft. Kimbra; 4/28-6/16 (8 Weeks)
When you think about it, Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” is probably the most left-field of 2012’s left-field hits. It rose to the top of the charts based almost entirely on word of mouth, without the aid of Bieber plugs, Chevy commercials or Internet meme machines. Just a great song with a great video reaching number one the old fashioned way. “Somebody That I Used to Know” is an effective break-up ballad, remorseful without being self-flagellating or vindictive. Aided only by acoustic guitar, xylophone and some nifty (read: not overpowering or melodramatic) synths, Gotye quietly and sadly confesses the ways that he and his ex were wrong for each other during the verse, resolving to put the past behind him. The chorus finds Gotye in with an anguished Sting-inspired yelp, lashing out at the girl for shutting him out of her life. The key to the song is Kimbra’s bridge, which turns the song on its head, revealing Gotye’s character to be, for lack of a better phrase, a total douche. “Somebody That I Used to Know” is based on real human emotions, and not the type of oversized pop song emotions found in “Stronger,” “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” or even “We Are Young,” and sure, it was overplayed, but I’m ecstatic that a song like this can find such traction on the radio and on the pop charts.
8/10
“Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen; 6/23-8/18 (9 Weeks)
When I was in Elementary School, I had a crush on a girl named Caroline (not her real name). I didn’t know what to do with myself. I liked a girl? Girls, to any grade school boy, are icky! So, I convinced myself that I didn’t like Caroline, but that I hated Caroline. I would taunt her mercilessly, make fun of her to my friends and loudly proclaim how much I hated her. The obvious truth was that I was lying to myself to avoid embarrassment about how I really felt.
I had a similar relationship to “Call Me Maybe,” albeit on a slightly more unconscious level. I first heard “Call Me Maybe” in early February 2012. My kneejerk reaction was to hate the fuck out of this song, mostly because my first exposure to the song came from the mouths of drunken sorority girls, before I ever heard the phrase Carly Rae Jepsen and I heard that it was vaguely related to Bieber. Drunken sorority girls are the reason why we have Spice Girls reunions, “Party in the USA,” and Ke$ha (who got a little better, but still). They do not have a very good track record (girls are icky, right?). When I finally heard the song at a bar, I began to understand the song in context, and even to appreciate the saccharine strings and the singer’s playful vocal stylings (“AND all the OTHER boys,” word to Howard Kremer, it was a Jepsen Summah). After that, I just could not abide the sheer catchiness of the whole thing. “Call Me Maybe” is one of those songs where just reading the name of the song in an article is enough to lodge the melody into your cerebral cortex for weeks on end. Soon enough, I was singing “BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD!” to myself in the shower. The melody had broken through my fierce resistance and invaded my subconscious. Around St. Patrick’s Day, I realized that “Call Me Maybe” was a fantastic pop song and claiming that I didn’t like it would be akin to claiming, “I don’t like candy, it’s too damn sweet.” Not to mention that the song would be inextricably linked to my senior year of college, and all the good memories therein. So I finally gave in. (Mind you, this all happened back in March, months before “Call Me Maybe” even reached the top of the charts. “Call Me Maybe” had an unnaturally long lifespan, probably because it’s fucking amazing). Before it came into my life, I missed it so bad, and what not.
9/10
FUCK IT!
10/10
“Whistle”– Flo Rida; 8/25, 9/15 (2 Weeks)
I’m tempted just to write “It’s a Flo Rida song,” rate it and call it a day. They’re all the same. Flo Rida is a rapper with no discernable personality. Though he’s technically proficient as a rapper, he never says anything memorable and his verses are just there to fill time between the hooks. “Whistle,” is no different. Flo Rida had three monster hits this year, and of the three, “Whistle” has by far the least memorable hook and least interesting production, yet it’s the one that reached number one. “Whistle” is relatively harmless, but if he’s talking about his dick, then dock 2 points from my rating (ick). I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, even though I probably shouldn’t.
4/10
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” – Taylor Swift; 9/1-9/8; 9/22 (3 Weeks)
Step One: Take Taylor’s personality and ability to inject her personal life into her songs.
Step Two: Combine Step One with Max Martin’s ability to craft a massive pop hook
Step Three: PROFIT!
It took longer than most people expected, but in 2012, Taylor Swift unequivocally became the biggest pop star in the world. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” the Max Martin produced smash engineered to drive her rise to the top, was the lead single from Red, the biggest album of the year, and one of four songs to reach the top ten from that album.
Though I’ve liked Taylor Swift in the past, I have never bought her as the shy girl who guys would dump for somebody hotter. “We Are Never Getting Back Together” finds her ditching that persona and embracing mean-girlhood. In this song she becomes, as Walter White would say, the One Who Dumps (get your goddamn mind out of the gutter, you disgusting person). “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” also finds Taylor abandoning her country roots (sure there are some acoustic guitar arpeggios, but they are more than likely synthesized) and aiming for pure pop. Though “You Belong With Me,” remains the perfect Taylor Swift song in my eyes, but “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is very good, with a likable spoken word bridge (love her inflection on “this is exHAUsting”) and some legitimate burns (the indie rock record that’s way cooler than hers) thrown in for good measure. Suck on it, Jake Gyllenhaal. You are officially the 2012 equivalent to Adele’s deadbeat window washer ex-boyfriend.
7/10
“One More Night” – Maroon 5; 9/29-11/24 (9 Weeks)
Way back in the intro (Congrats if you’ve made it this far! I’m almost done.), I alluded to a government-sponsored cabal devoted to preventing “Gangnam Style” from reaching the top of the charts. Now, I have no proof of this, but what else could possibly explain the nine-week reign of this Ace of Base rip by Maroon 1 Plus Four? “Gangnam Style” sat behind “One More Night” at the number two spot for seven straight weeks. “One More Night” was certainly popular, but popular enough to merit a nine-week reign on the top of the charts? I think not! I’m honestly not even the biggest fan of “Gangnam Style,” but there’s no denying that it had a cultural impact equal to, if not greater than, any of the number ones on the list. As for “One More Night”? I’m sure Adam Levine performed it on The Voice or something.
Ok, I realize I haven’t said anything about the song. I haven’t said anything about vanilla ice cream or white bread either. Why? Because those things are BORING! Just like “One More Night,” a slice of blue-eyed Reggae designed to provide background atmosphere for department stores. Say what you will about “Gangnam Style,” but at least it would have been fun to write about.
5/10
“Diamonds” – Rihanna; 12/1-12/15 (3 Weeks)
“Diamonds” was co-written by Sia, and you can really tell in the way that Rihanna sings it. The vocal melody would work very well for Sia, but in “Diamonds” it really just highlights the relative weakness of Rihanna’s voice, as she awkwardly wobbles between high and low notes. I enjoy plenty of Rihanna songs, but the best of them do not rely on her ability to deliver a brilliant vocal performance, but on her ability to sell a hook. There’s clearly a strong hook on “Diamonds,” but it is far too repetitive for my taste and her melodramatic vocals overload the already considerable bombast of the Stargate produced track. The chord progression was promising, but this track needed a stronger singer than Rihanna to do justice to the production and bring the melody to life.
4/10
“Locked Out of Heaven” – Bruno Mars; 12/22-present (5 Weeks…SO FAR!)
We all know that Sting is having a moment right now (see: Gotye), but I think it would be unfair to call out Bruno Mars for trend-hopping on this one. “Locked Out of Heaven” was probably written before anyone at Bruno Mars’ label knew that “Somebody That I Used to Know” was going to be a smash, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the success of that record directly led to the release of this one. That’s just some smart A&R work. Gotye’s track resembles the quiet bombast of Sting’s solo career, but “Locked Out of Heaven” is a direct descendent of early Police smashes like “Roxanne,” “So Lonely” and “Message in a Bottle.” I love all three of those songs, and I commend Bruno Mars for bringing back the spirit of those great records, but he almost ruins that classic sound by bringing some trademark-Mars squickiness to the proceedings (Can we please have a moratorium on people singing “your sex”? Is there any creepier phrase than that? I mean, besides Flo Rida telling everybody to blow on his dick whistle?). Remember, this is the guy behind two of the absolute worst songs of 2011 (his own “The Lazy Song,” and Bad-Meets-Evil’s execrable “Lighters). Still, “Locked Out of Heaven” is a solid pop song, with a great “yeah yeah yeah” hook, and the pleasure I get from hearing a reasonable facsimile of the best Police songs on Z100 counteracts some of that creep factor (not to mention that plenty of Police songs have lyrics that are just as creepy).
6/10
In Summation: 2012 was a decent-to-good year for number one singles. Any year featuring “Call Me Maybe” can’t be too bad. As good a year 2012 was for pop music and music in general, it felt like a table-setting year. The 2010s are in the process of developing a unique aesthetic for itself, and 2012 was a clear step away from the late 2000s style. I, for one, welcome our new era in pop music, especially if that new era features much less LMFAO. See you next year.
Over the past month I’ve read, watched, or listened to dozens of year-end retrospectives. Best of year lists, entries reflecting on a specific artist or trend, podcast debates about the above, and an especially entertaining March-Madness-style bracket pitting the year’s hits against each other in a fight to the death (dontstoppopthat.com). However, I like to reflect upon the past year through the lens of the old-fashioned, borderline-irrelevant, payola-baiting Billboard Hot 100. (Ok, maybe there’s no more payola, but you can’t convince me that Maroon 5’s nine-week reign was not the result of a vast government conspiracy hellbent on keeping one-time Yankee-hater PSY from reaching the top of the charts; or a unified push by American record companies to forestall the incoming K-Pop invasion). The year’s Billboard Number Ones are not comprehensive and always leave out many songs that the define the year (no Frank Ocean, Fiona Apple or 2 Chainz to see here, folks), but it is always to interesting to see which songs captured our hearts and minds throughout the year.
After the EDM-plus-Adele hellscape that was the year 2011, 2012 comes as a breath of fresh air. The EDM is obviously still around, and the movement fuelled some of the year’s biggest hits (Flo Rida’s “Good Feeling”; Nicki Minaj’s “Starships”; every huge David Guetta song), but the songs that reached number one, rising above the untz-untz crowd, are an impressively varied group of songs. 2012’s number ones ranged from bubblegum pop, to faux Arcade Fire bombast, to full-throated diva belters, to blue-eyed reggae. In 2012, not one but TWO songs heavily influenced by Sting spent significant time at the top of the charts. In 2010 and 2011, the number ones reflected the most played songs at the club. The average number one had a high BPM, a 4/4 beat, and the build-ups and drops associated with club music, designed to make people lose their minds on the dancefloor (the exception being, as always, Adele). Last year, Number ones were, for the most part, quieter and slower, less insistent on us dancing like it was our last night on Earth. The most popular songs of the year were often songs more likely to be played at home alone as in a club. Songs like “Somebody That I Used to Know,” “We Are Young” and “Ho Hey,” the current number 5, would never have sniffed the Top 20 in 2010 or 2011. I’m not sure if the charts changed their methodology or if people changed their listening habits (probably the former), but either way, I love any change that might break us out of our early decade doldrums and into a new exciting period for pop music.
The Hits:
“Sexy and I Know It” – LMFAO: 1/7-1/14 (2 Weeks)
Ugh. I’m gonna skip this one for now. I’ll leave you with this brilliant sketch, and I’ll come back to “Sexy and I Know It” after I throw up in my mouth a little bit.
“We Found Love” – Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris: 11/12/11-12/31/11; 1/21/12-1/28 (10 Weeks)
I already wrote about this one for my 2011 recap. I’ll repost it though:
“THIS is how you do a House crossover. People criticize Rihanna’s vocal ability, but it’s hard to argue that she can’t be compelling in the right context. Rihanna is probably the most prepared of the current pop divas to handle the imminent electronic era in pop music, as her voice complements but never overshadows the production. Considering how simple most of Calvin Harris’s discography is, there’s a surprising level of attention to detail in “We Found Love.” There’s a subtle change in the instrumentation during each verse. I also like how they managed to avoid including a dubstep drop (must have been a struggle). It’s hard to imagine a more effective techno/pop fusion"
8/10
“Sexy and I Know It” – LMFAO: 1/7-1/14 (2 Weeks)
Ok, I’m back. I needed some time to emotionally prepare myself to listen to this song on repeat for this piece. “Sexy and I Know It” is a member of a unique pop music lineage, preceded by such classics as “I’m Too Sexy,” by Right Said Fred, and the gloriously awful “Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang. These are one-joke songs. Isn’t it hilarious how these guys who do not fit even the broadest definition of sexiness are talking about how irresistible they are? “Sexy and I Know It,” by nepotism poster boys LMFAO, manages to be even more disgusting and ridiculous than its predecessors and even less funny. The good news for me is: “Sexy and I Know It” was the year’s worst number one, so there isn’t anywhere to go but up. This would be the worst song to chart in 2012 if it weren’t for the unfortunate “Birthday Cake (Remix),” by Rihanna & Chris Brown.
1/10
“Set Fire to the Rain” – Adele: 2/4-2/11 (2 Weeks)
Adele’s monster 2011 extended into 2012 with “Set Fire to the Rain,” a decent number one that can’t hope to match the iconic status already reached by “Rolling in the Deep” and “Somebody Like You.” “Rolling in the Deep” and “Somebody Like You” featured minimalist arrangements with Adele’s voice as the focal point. Her inflection and vocal timbre provides the drama and the emotion, and because Adele is such an expressive singer, the songs benefit from the spotlight on her vocals. In “Set Fire to the Rain,” her vocals are just as strong, but her performance is swallowed by the epic arrangement. Still, like almost everything else on Adele’s 21, “Set Fire to the Rain” is well-written and well-structured, even if it lacks the emotional oomph of her best songs.
6/10
“Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” – Kelly Clarkson: 2/18-2/25, 3/10
Poor Kelly Clarkson. Every song she releases from here on out will draw comparisons to “Since U Been Gone,” one of the best pop songs of the past 25 years, and every song will suffer from that comparison. It’s hard to fault Kelly for returning to that well, but I think it’s fair to say that I’ve had enough of the Kelly Clarkson empowerment anthem for a while. “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” is a perfectly competent, catchy track that I have absolutely no need to ever hear again.
5/10
“Part of Me” – Katy Perry: 3/3 (1 week)
According to Wikipedia, Katy Perry’s Dr. Luke/Max Martin-produced kiss-off “Part of Me” was written sometime in 2010, presumably about her ex-boyfriend Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes (yep, that clown). It was officially released in February 2012, hot on the heels of Perry’s high-profile divorce from crazy person/comedian Russell Brand. So, the song’s lyrics, though they try to be personal and revealing, are vague enough to apply to two totally different (I assume) relationships. Everything about this song screams, “divorce cash-in.” The chorus is not memorable, especially when compared to her 2010 and 2011 smashes, and the instrumental track is typical Katy Perry, with guitars on the verses, synth on the chorus and huge 4/4 drums. “Part of Me” is the most transient and forgettable of 2012’s number ones, so forgettable, in fact, that she did not even perform “Part of Me” in the concert film bearing its name.
4/10
“We Are Young” – fun. featuring Janelle Monae: 3/17-4/21 (6 Weeks)
“We Are Young” is a mixed bag. It’s a song that feels like it could have been a great song, but it fails for a few reasons. Let’s talk about the good first: That chorus. It’s a great fucking chorus, one of the biggest and catchiest in a year full of big catchy choruses, with Nate Ruess’s voice soaring over Graduation-era Kanye synths and plinking piano. The bridge is pretty good, too, and would be better if Janelle Monae’s part was not buried under layers of harmony. I’ve heard people compare fun. to Queen, their chanted harmonies always reminded me more of the Lion King soundtrack, which is good, cause I like The Lion King more than I like Queen.
Now the bad: The first verses is dreadful. The lyrics are so self-important and read like entry-level poetry (“Getting higher than the Empire State”), and the melody uninspired. Worst of all, it does not fit at all with the chorus. More talented people than fun. have created great songs by mashing up two half-written songs, but here it feels like the chorus teleported in from some other, more interesting song.
Overall, the very good chorus and bridge comprise most of the song, but the terrible first verse and the awkward transition between verse and chorus (not to mention the sheer grammatical difficulty of writing about fun. on Microsoft Word) prevent me from giving “We Are Young” anything higher than a 6.
6/10
“Somebody That I Used to Know” – Gotye ft. Kimbra; 4/28-6/16 (8 Weeks)
When you think about it, Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know” is probably the most left-field of 2012’s left-field hits. It rose to the top of the charts based almost entirely on word of mouth, without the aid of Bieber plugs, Chevy commercials or Internet meme machines. Just a great song with a great video reaching number one the old fashioned way. “Somebody That I Used to Know” is an effective break-up ballad, remorseful without being self-flagellating or vindictive. Aided only by acoustic guitar, xylophone and some nifty (read: not overpowering or melodramatic) synths, Gotye quietly and sadly confesses the ways that he and his ex were wrong for each other during the verse, resolving to put the past behind him. The chorus finds Gotye in with an anguished Sting-inspired yelp, lashing out at the girl for shutting him out of her life. The key to the song is Kimbra’s bridge, which turns the song on its head, revealing Gotye’s character to be, for lack of a better phrase, a total douche. “Somebody That I Used to Know” is based on real human emotions, and not the type of oversized pop song emotions found in “Stronger,” “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” or even “We Are Young,” and sure, it was overplayed, but I’m ecstatic that a song like this can find such traction on the radio and on the pop charts.
8/10
“Call Me Maybe” – Carly Rae Jepsen; 6/23-8/18 (9 Weeks)
When I was in Elementary School, I had a crush on a girl named Caroline (not her real name). I didn’t know what to do with myself. I liked a girl? Girls, to any grade school boy, are icky! So, I convinced myself that I didn’t like Caroline, but that I hated Caroline. I would taunt her mercilessly, make fun of her to my friends and loudly proclaim how much I hated her. The obvious truth was that I was lying to myself to avoid embarrassment about how I really felt.
I had a similar relationship to “Call Me Maybe,” albeit on a slightly more unconscious level. I first heard “Call Me Maybe” in early February 2012. My kneejerk reaction was to hate the fuck out of this song, mostly because my first exposure to the song came from the mouths of drunken sorority girls, before I ever heard the phrase Carly Rae Jepsen and I heard that it was vaguely related to Bieber. Drunken sorority girls are the reason why we have Spice Girls reunions, “Party in the USA,” and Ke$ha (who got a little better, but still). They do not have a very good track record (girls are icky, right?). When I finally heard the song at a bar, I began to understand the song in context, and even to appreciate the saccharine strings and the singer’s playful vocal stylings (“AND all the OTHER boys,” word to Howard Kremer, it was a Jepsen Summah). After that, I just could not abide the sheer catchiness of the whole thing. “Call Me Maybe” is one of those songs where just reading the name of the song in an article is enough to lodge the melody into your cerebral cortex for weeks on end. Soon enough, I was singing “BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE I MISSED YOU SO BAD!” to myself in the shower. The melody had broken through my fierce resistance and invaded my subconscious. Around St. Patrick’s Day, I realized that “Call Me Maybe” was a fantastic pop song and claiming that I didn’t like it would be akin to claiming, “I don’t like candy, it’s too damn sweet.” Not to mention that the song would be inextricably linked to my senior year of college, and all the good memories therein. So I finally gave in. (Mind you, this all happened back in March, months before “Call Me Maybe” even reached the top of the charts. “Call Me Maybe” had an unnaturally long lifespan, probably because it’s fucking amazing). Before it came into my life, I missed it so bad, and what not.
9/10
FUCK IT!
10/10
“Whistle”– Flo Rida; 8/25, 9/15 (2 Weeks)
I’m tempted just to write “It’s a Flo Rida song,” rate it and call it a day. They’re all the same. Flo Rida is a rapper with no discernable personality. Though he’s technically proficient as a rapper, he never says anything memorable and his verses are just there to fill time between the hooks. “Whistle,” is no different. Flo Rida had three monster hits this year, and of the three, “Whistle” has by far the least memorable hook and least interesting production, yet it’s the one that reached number one. “Whistle” is relatively harmless, but if he’s talking about his dick, then dock 2 points from my rating (ick). I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, even though I probably shouldn’t.
4/10
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” – Taylor Swift; 9/1-9/8; 9/22 (3 Weeks)
Step One: Take Taylor’s personality and ability to inject her personal life into her songs.
Step Two: Combine Step One with Max Martin’s ability to craft a massive pop hook
Step Three: PROFIT!
It took longer than most people expected, but in 2012, Taylor Swift unequivocally became the biggest pop star in the world. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together,” the Max Martin produced smash engineered to drive her rise to the top, was the lead single from Red, the biggest album of the year, and one of four songs to reach the top ten from that album.
Though I’ve liked Taylor Swift in the past, I have never bought her as the shy girl who guys would dump for somebody hotter. “We Are Never Getting Back Together” finds her ditching that persona and embracing mean-girlhood. In this song she becomes, as Walter White would say, the One Who Dumps (get your goddamn mind out of the gutter, you disgusting person). “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” also finds Taylor abandoning her country roots (sure there are some acoustic guitar arpeggios, but they are more than likely synthesized) and aiming for pure pop. Though “You Belong With Me,” remains the perfect Taylor Swift song in my eyes, but “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is very good, with a likable spoken word bridge (love her inflection on “this is exHAUsting”) and some legitimate burns (the indie rock record that’s way cooler than hers) thrown in for good measure. Suck on it, Jake Gyllenhaal. You are officially the 2012 equivalent to Adele’s deadbeat window washer ex-boyfriend.
7/10
“One More Night” – Maroon 5; 9/29-11/24 (9 Weeks)
Way back in the intro (Congrats if you’ve made it this far! I’m almost done.), I alluded to a government-sponsored cabal devoted to preventing “Gangnam Style” from reaching the top of the charts. Now, I have no proof of this, but what else could possibly explain the nine-week reign of this Ace of Base rip by Maroon 1 Plus Four? “Gangnam Style” sat behind “One More Night” at the number two spot for seven straight weeks. “One More Night” was certainly popular, but popular enough to merit a nine-week reign on the top of the charts? I think not! I’m honestly not even the biggest fan of “Gangnam Style,” but there’s no denying that it had a cultural impact equal to, if not greater than, any of the number ones on the list. As for “One More Night”? I’m sure Adam Levine performed it on The Voice or something.
Ok, I realize I haven’t said anything about the song. I haven’t said anything about vanilla ice cream or white bread either. Why? Because those things are BORING! Just like “One More Night,” a slice of blue-eyed Reggae designed to provide background atmosphere for department stores. Say what you will about “Gangnam Style,” but at least it would have been fun to write about.
5/10
“Diamonds” – Rihanna; 12/1-12/15 (3 Weeks)
“Diamonds” was co-written by Sia, and you can really tell in the way that Rihanna sings it. The vocal melody would work very well for Sia, but in “Diamonds” it really just highlights the relative weakness of Rihanna’s voice, as she awkwardly wobbles between high and low notes. I enjoy plenty of Rihanna songs, but the best of them do not rely on her ability to deliver a brilliant vocal performance, but on her ability to sell a hook. There’s clearly a strong hook on “Diamonds,” but it is far too repetitive for my taste and her melodramatic vocals overload the already considerable bombast of the Stargate produced track. The chord progression was promising, but this track needed a stronger singer than Rihanna to do justice to the production and bring the melody to life.
4/10
“Locked Out of Heaven” – Bruno Mars; 12/22-present (5 Weeks…SO FAR!)
We all know that Sting is having a moment right now (see: Gotye), but I think it would be unfair to call out Bruno Mars for trend-hopping on this one. “Locked Out of Heaven” was probably written before anyone at Bruno Mars’ label knew that “Somebody That I Used to Know” was going to be a smash, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the success of that record directly led to the release of this one. That’s just some smart A&R work. Gotye’s track resembles the quiet bombast of Sting’s solo career, but “Locked Out of Heaven” is a direct descendent of early Police smashes like “Roxanne,” “So Lonely” and “Message in a Bottle.” I love all three of those songs, and I commend Bruno Mars for bringing back the spirit of those great records, but he almost ruins that classic sound by bringing some trademark-Mars squickiness to the proceedings (Can we please have a moratorium on people singing “your sex”? Is there any creepier phrase than that? I mean, besides Flo Rida telling everybody to blow on his dick whistle?). Remember, this is the guy behind two of the absolute worst songs of 2011 (his own “The Lazy Song,” and Bad-Meets-Evil’s execrable “Lighters). Still, “Locked Out of Heaven” is a solid pop song, with a great “yeah yeah yeah” hook, and the pleasure I get from hearing a reasonable facsimile of the best Police songs on Z100 counteracts some of that creep factor (not to mention that plenty of Police songs have lyrics that are just as creepy).
6/10
In Summation: 2012 was a decent-to-good year for number one singles. Any year featuring “Call Me Maybe” can’t be too bad. As good a year 2012 was for pop music and music in general, it felt like a table-setting year. The 2010s are in the process of developing a unique aesthetic for itself, and 2012 was a clear step away from the late 2000s style. I, for one, welcome our new era in pop music, especially if that new era features much less LMFAO. See you next year.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Origin Stories: Full Mix
Here's the full playlist, and here's a Spotify Link so you can listen to it if you please.
1). Man In Black — Johnny Cash
2). My Back Pages — Bob Dylan
3). Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out — Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
4). They Might Be Giants — They Might Be Giants
5). Clash City Rockers — The Clash
6). Formed A Band — Art Brut
7). History Lesson Part 2 — Minutemen
8). I Was Born A Unicorn — The Unicorns
9). Born on the Bayou — Creedence Clearwater Revival
10). Trailer Trash — Modest Mouse
11). Underground — Tom Waits
12). Jocko Homo — Devo
13). Ziggy Stardust — David Bowie
14). Gets Rich — The Dismemberment Plan
15). My Name Is — Eminem
16). Juicy — The Notorious B.I.G.
17). Through the Wire — Kanye West
18). My 1st Song — Jay-Z
19). Fetus — Nas
Origin Stories Mix Part 3
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15). My Name Is — EminemAt once a master of internal rhyme and toilet humor, Eminem introduced himself to the American public with “My Name Is,” a song, I would venture to say, most males of a certain age memorized front to back. Everything that would define Shady’s most fertile period is here: mommy issues, drug addiction, cheesy sound effects, Dr. Dre and mean-spirited, but often clever, digs at celebrities. Glimpses of Marshall Mathers peek through the cartoon he projects (“I just found out my mom does more dope than I do”), but Eminem’s main goal was to poke fun at the establishment, piss off some squares and become a hero for troubled youth. Now that Eminem is recording tracks with Bruno fucking Mars, it’s hard to remember how shocking and intriguing he was when he burst onto the scene.
16). Juicy — The Notorious B.I.G.
The ultimate Hip-Hop origin song, and the forefather of thousands of subsequent “I made it” anthems. In the first verse, Biggie radiates his love for the music and marvels at the surrealistic idea of being paid huge money for rhyming. In other hands, all this bragging about ends could get obnoxious, but Biggie roots every line in the past, emphasizing the struggle he once faced before he broke into the rap game. Since we understand where Christopher Wallace comes from, we don’t begrudge him his success and we get why he chooses to live a life of extraordinary luxury. Besides all that, “Juicy” is filled to the brim with great lines (“birthdays was the worst days, now we sip champagne when we thirsty”; “Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis, when I was flat broke shit I couldn’t picture this”) and a high-class beat, with a bouncy sing-along bassline. And it’s all good, baby baby.
17). Through the Wire — Kanye WestThough Kanye would go into greater detail about the start of his career in “Last Call,” “Through the Wire” was an early display of Kanye’s skill for spinning tales from his personal life into compelling tracks. Kanye’s car crash was a formative incident on his artistic persona, especially in his early days, which helped him seem grateful, not just for his opportunity to become a rap star but for his life. This is probably the only track where Kanye seems (gasp!) humble. There were songs on The College Dropout that were more radio ready (“Slow Jamz,” “All Falls Down”) but Kanye released “Through the Wire” as his first single, possibly because he felt it best represented him as an artist.
18). My 1st Song — Jay-Z
My 1st Song,” is the last song on what was supposed to be, but nobody actually thought would be, Jay’s last album. The other Hip-Hop origin stories on the playlist are introductions, opening salvos that try to show the world what the artist is made of. “My 1st Song” is a retrospective, spanning the whole of his career in two verses and a drawn out shout out to all those who helped Jay on his way to the top. The first verse mines the same familiar subject as “Juicy” and millions of other Hip-Hop tracks: he started out with nothing, started selling drugs, etc. The second verse is about the necessity of maintaining a high level of passion and intensity for your rhymes throughout your career. Did Jay-Z retire because he didn’t believe he was capable of keeping up his high standard? The world will never know, because he came out with the sub-standard Kingdom Come two years later.
19). Fetus — Nas“Fetus” wins the award for traveling the furthest back into the life of the artist. It begins with Nas’s conception and ends with his birth, as he raps from the perspective of an unborn fetus. “Fetus” is thrillingly realized, if self-aggrandizing, with fascinating, disturbing images of womb life and a window into his parents’ marriage. Most rappers would not be able to sustain the pre-birth gimmick for an entire song without making it seem overly-sentimental or cheesy. What makes “Fetus” such a great origin song is that Nas finds a way to use the gimmick to give the listener a deeper understanding of the man as an artist and as a person.
17). Through the Wire — Kanye WestThough Kanye would go into greater detail about the start of his career in “Last Call,” “Through the Wire” was an early display of Kanye’s skill for spinning tales from his personal life into compelling tracks. Kanye’s car crash was a formative incident on his artistic persona, especially in his early days, which helped him seem grateful, not just for his opportunity to become a rap star but for his life. This is probably the only track where Kanye seems (gasp!) humble. There were songs on The College Dropout that were more radio ready (“Slow Jamz,” “All Falls Down”) but Kanye released “Through the Wire” as his first single, possibly because he felt it best represented him as an artist.
18). My 1st Song — Jay-Z
My 1st Song,” is the last song on what was supposed to be, but nobody actually thought would be, Jay’s last album. The other Hip-Hop origin stories on the playlist are introductions, opening salvos that try to show the world what the artist is made of. “My 1st Song” is a retrospective, spanning the whole of his career in two verses and a drawn out shout out to all those who helped Jay on his way to the top. The first verse mines the same familiar subject as “Juicy” and millions of other Hip-Hop tracks: he started out with nothing, started selling drugs, etc. The second verse is about the necessity of maintaining a high level of passion and intensity for your rhymes throughout your career. Did Jay-Z retire because he didn’t believe he was capable of keeping up his high standard? The world will never know, because he came out with the sub-standard Kingdom Come two years later.
19). Fetus — Nas“Fetus” wins the award for traveling the furthest back into the life of the artist. It begins with Nas’s conception and ends with his birth, as he raps from the perspective of an unborn fetus. “Fetus” is thrillingly realized, if self-aggrandizing, with fascinating, disturbing images of womb life and a window into his parents’ marriage. Most rappers would not be able to sustain the pre-birth gimmick for an entire song without making it seem overly-sentimental or cheesy. What makes “Fetus” such a great origin song is that Nas finds a way to use the gimmick to give the listener a deeper understanding of the man as an artist and as a person.
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