Re-posting what I've written stage 2:
2008: The year of the...?
Unlike in the previous years of this decade, there wasn't really a dominating trend that drove pop music. It seems as if Auto-tune is more than just a trend, since T-Pain and Rihanna had great years once again. One of the more notable, and one of my favorite things that happened this year, was that Lil Wayne exploded from an internet phenom into international stardom. Unfortunately, his worst song was the one that reached number one. Before this recap, I didn't really think that this was a great year for pop music, but I realized that most of these #1s are at least solid, even though there is no amazing song like last year's Umbrella, and some of them are very good. The public did a pretty good job choosing which songs should reach #1. Anyway, I'd just like to add that this year was a bitch to recap, since so many songs traded off spots at number one, probably due to Billboard's increasing reliance on online sales.
Low - Flo Rida ft. T- Pain: 1/5-3/8 (10 Weeks)
It's hard to remember now, but the first two and a half months or so of '08 were dominated by Flo Rida, or more accurately T-Pain. I'm not sure if there is any number one in the history of pop music that's popularity had less to do with the album artist than this one. The popularity of this song is almost completely due to T-Pain and his instantly catchy, but endlessly annoying auto-tuned chorus. Flo Rida is barely here. I can hardly understand what he's saying most of the time and when I can understand it, it is bland and derivative. This song caused many a suburban housewife to ask their kids "What are apple bottom jeans?"
5/10
Love In This Club - Usher ft. Young Jeezy: 3/15-3/29 (3 Weeks)
The first time I heard this song, I was a little disappointed that it wasn't a banger like Yeah, but instead a slower, more "romantic" song. However, the song quickly grew on me as I gradually understood that the beat was amazing in its own right. When I learned that producer Palow da Don created the beat on Garage Band, I was even more impressed. It took me a bit, but I loved the song even more when I figured out that Usher was being completely literal, saying that he wants to make love to this girl right now. On the dancefloor. In front of everybody. "If we close our eyes it could be just me and you," he says. Anyway, Young Jeezy shows up for a standard guest rap, but his raspy voice sounds great against the stuttering synth. The piano arpeggios at the end seal the deal and make this song one of the best of the year.
9/10
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis: 4/5, 4/26, 5/10-17 (4 remarkably unconsecutive weeks)
This is a standard big voiced ballad from Britain's new Mariah sound-a-like Leona Lewis. The song is a standard 50's progression with big drums and a big, catchy chorus. However, I have to say it's very effective and better than anything Mariah has done in at least a decade. The lyrics are pretty dumb, but Leona makes the most of it, especially after the key change and she really starts belting, at around the 3:00 mark. Not bad, not great, but about as good as this type of song can get.
7/10
Touch My Body - Mariah Carey: 4/12-19 (2 Weeks)
My main problem with Mariah is that she has such a great voice, but she has no idea how to use it, which is one of the reasons why I hated her 2005 mega hit We Belong Together. This is a song that anyone could sing and Mariah's amazing voice is completely wasted. The writers should've just thrown this one at Jessica Simpson and give Mariah something challenging. At least she doesn't overdo it and belt her lungs out and go on the those completely unnecessary vocal runs. The track is musically uninteresting and completely unoriginal, and the uselessness of the song is enhanced by the fact that I don't find Mariah particularly attractive. One extra point for Kenneth the Page in the music video.
3/10
Lollipop - Lil Wayne ft. Static Major: 5/3, 5/31-6/21 (5 Weeks)
This is the sound of a rapper selling out. As much as I love Lil Wayne, I really can't stand this song. Lil Wayne basically drowns himself in his auto-tune and barely even raps. The vocal hooks are unoriginal and basically every line he uses in this song is borrowed from his earlier work, even his "so sweet makes you want to lick the (w)rapper" line. The song really starts to piss me off when he bites "My Humps." Really, Wayne? Really? It's way too long and grating after one or two lyrics. The beat is nothing special and the concept was old when 50 Cent talked about his lollipop. However, I guess the ends justify the means and the song helped the excellent Tha Carter III become the best-selling album of the year. Weezy is a smart man.
4/10
Take a Bow - Rihanna: 5/24 (1 week)
This song is simultaneously Rihanna's victory lap after her amazing 2007 and her attempt at topping "Irreplaceable". The song is a simple piano ballad that, I'm sorry to say, as much as I love Rihanna, she simply does not have the pipes for. It's boring and forgettable. Enters one ear, leaves through the other. Sorry, Rihanna, if you're reading (a man can dream), but this is your worst song.
3/10
Viva la Vida - Coldplay: 6/28 (1 Week)
Hey look, guys! Modern rock! To paraphrase Being John Malkovich, it doesn't seem like anyone is looking for a rock song in today's wintry economic climate. I'm impressed that Coldplay reached number one. However, I've never liked Coldplay. My complaints about Coldplay are basically the same as everyone elses: indecipherable lyrics, music for people who don't like music, a homeless man's Radiohead, incredibly gay, etc. However, I think that this is probably Coldplay's best song since "Clocks" and it doesn't really sound like anything I've ever heard by the band. It is decent and listenable. However, just because it doesn't sound like anything the band has ever done does not mean it is original, since Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay for plagiarism for this song . He's doing what U2 and Radiohead should've done years ago. [ed. note: I don't recall exactly what came of this case, but I'm pretty sure it was thrown out. The similarities between Coldplay's song and Satch's song are probably not criminal]
6/10
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry: 7/5-8/16 (7 Weeks)
Let me preface this review by saying that Katy Perry is a very, very attractive woman. That said, this song sucks balls. Just major balls. She tries to sound like Joan Jett, but she winds up sounding like a sexually confused Fall Out Boy. Also, the utter stupidity of the line "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it" pisses me off every time. What guy isn't turned on by his girlfriend kissing some other girl? The song tries to be edgy, but winds up being just as much of a gimmick as "Lollipop". A forgettable bridge featuring lines like "Us girls we are so magical," is the icing on the awful, awful cake.
1/10
Disturbia - Rihanna: 8/23-30 (2 Weeks)
"Bum bum be-dum bum bum be dum bum"
It's in you head now, isn't it? Easily the catchiest song of the year, it's also one of the best. It's easy to forget that the song is about mental illness (not really though, the words are completely unimportant). Though she's often left out of the auto-tune conversation, it is essential to her sound. It gives her a detached persona that work great for songs like these. She uses the auto-tune as an artistic tool, not a cheap gimmick. She sounds like a sex robot from the year 2775. The verses are great, the chorus is great, and the bridge is fantastic. I really love this song.
"Bum bum be-dum bum bum be dum bum" [ed. note: This song is inevitably intertwined with my memories of my Freshman year of college and football pregames, which may skew the rating a bit]
10/10 (rounded up from a 9.5)
Whatever You Like - T.I.: 9/6-20; 10/4-11; 11/1-8 (7 Weeks)
I really love this song. This song was produced by the same guy who produced Lollipop (Jim Jonsin) and it shows. The strong is structurally similar to Lollipop. They both feature a southern rapper who barely raps on the song. However, where Wayne fails, T.I. knocks it out of the park. T.I. is much more comfortable rapping over this type of beat and his style translates much better to a more mainstream song than Wayne does. It has great synth overtones including a bubbly square sound echoing the melody and a heavy saw providing the bassline. Tip glides over the beat and sounds like the smoothest man alive. The synth outro is great as well. It's no What You Know, but what is? I would argue that this is probably the song of the year, considering the amount of time on top of the charts and its cultural cachet (it spawned many parodies including one by Weird Al).
Also, this video:
And this: http://joe-biden.ytmnd.com/
8/10
So What - P!nk: 9/27 (1 Week)
A deliciously stupid/clever kiss off to her ex-husband. I have hated absolutely everything that P!nk has ever done up until this song. However, as soon as I heard the opening guitar lick of this song followed by the line "I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went", I realized there's a first time for everything. The song is catchy as hell, with memorable verses and a big chorus, in which she calls her ex a tool. P!nk, for the first time, actually is believably angry and gives a great vocal performance. However, during the verses, she falls back into some of the things that makes me hate P!nk so much, like gratuitous insults of blonde bimbos ("Jessica Simp-shit," is a pretty stupid line) and repetitive lyrics (Is someone gonna start a fight? Are you sure?), which keeps me from giving this song anything more than:
7/10
Live Your Life - T.I. ft. Rihanna: 10/18; 11/15-12/6; 12/20 (6 Weeks)
2008 was a very interesting year for T.I., to say the least. He was under house arrest for almost the entire year, after he was arrested for illegal purchase of an automatic weapon. This caused a creative renaissance for the man and 2008 became T.I.'s most commercially successful year by far. T.I. enlists fellow 2008 MVP candidate Rihanna to sing a chorus that samples the Numa Numa Song and deliver one of the catchiest hooks of the year. When I first heard the Just Blaze beat, it bothered me a bit. However, in further listens, I realized that the beat was meticulously constructed and filled with details that reward repeat listens. T.I. dedicates the song to the troops, but the song could also easily be about his struggles with the law and himself, trying to simply live his life [ed. note: shut up, I know it's cheesy]. T.I.'s flow is great, but his lyrics are besides the point, and Rihanna gives us a fantastic bridge. All of this is secondary however, to the monstrous chorus, giving the simplest and possibly most poignant message of the year:
"Just live your life, ayyyyyyyyy"
9/10
Womanizer - Britney Spears: 10/25 (1 Week)
God I hate this song. By an immense stroke of luck, Katy Perry does not have the worst #1 of 2008. As far as I can tell, there are only about four words in this song and three of them are "womanizer." Britney's voice is particularly grating on this one. This song is rivaled only by Fergie's London Bridge in its ability to give me a migraine. Song, I know just what you are: Shitty song, oh shitty song, you're just a shitty song.
0/10
Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) - Beyonce: 12/13; 12/27-Present (Four Weeks, so far)
We've saved the best for last. This song was easily the most minimalist on the charts in 2008, and possibly the best. The beat is basically some electronic toms, handclaps, some synth during the chorus and bridge and that siren noise that repeats throughout the song like a warning for all the men in the world and a call to arms for all the women. Beyonce gives possibly the best vocal performance of her career. After a quiet '07, Beyonce came roaring back to remind the Britneys and Katy Perrys of the world how a real single lady should behave and perform, and also to remind them who is the reigning queen of pop music. Here's hoping this remains at number one for the forseeable future.
10/10
Overall: This was a pretty good year for #1s, if not for pop music in general. Some great songs reached number one this year, and most of the crappy ones weren't that bad. We can owe this surprisingly good list of #1s to the internet, which allows for better songs to reach the top of the charts, as evidenced by the surge of popularity of great songs like Paper Planes. Here's to a great 2009.
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